Knock Knock!



Its night and cold, I lay on the floor close to the door, which has wood across it to hold it shut. To stop or delay the entrance of the intruders known as the Taliban, a group of terrorists under the guise of being Muslim. They rape and they kill! You can be beaten because there is no hot food for them or no food at all to feed them.

My sister lies at the other end of the room. My mother and my two younger sisters are in the next room with the door locked. Every night we pray that in the morning we will be alive, we will not be one of those that are dragged out at night beaten, killed or raped.

Welcome to my village and my house in Afghanistan; a Muslim country at war with itself.

I was in an area under government control maybe in the day, but at night the soldiers and the police go to the safety of their compounds and houses in secure areas, leaving the rest of us to defend ourselves. We were mostly women, children and old men. The young men have either been killed, kidnapped or left the area to survive.

In the middle of the night you hear voices, movement … your mouth dries up, your heart is beating. Is this the time they come for you or members of your family? Then it may be just neighbours getting up early or someone who is going on a long journey, so they start early to try and avoid the terrorists.

Then there are the times when you hear the voices of angry people yelling, doors being kicked in and the screaming of women and children. The terrorists, the cowards, are here they come at night they attack women, children and the elderly. As they brutalize the women, they call out, “Allāhu Akbar” at the top of their voices. So the killing and raping brings honour to Allah and the Prophet Mohammed (PHUH)? No, I don’t think so!

They lie by sending people to their death, telling them they will go immediately to Jannah (Heaven) killing other Muslims. No, this is not Islam.

My sisters lay close to the wall with a knife, in case they break down the door and take me and my other sister; then come after them, one 8 yrs old and one 10 yrs old. They will use the knife to kill themselves; rather than be taken, raped by half dozen men, then killed or kept for another day to go through it all again.

These men do this all in the name of Islam.

We escaped eventually and I work in another country. I look after people. I am now trained in security. I look after my employer’s child, a young girl, who has never seen the violence in the name of Allah.

Over the years of living in Afghanistan and wondering if I would be next, I never slept a full night. Even now, I wake up from dreams of violence. I wake up with a sweat not knowing where I am. No one knocks on my door at night, no one touches me while I am asleep because I sleep with a weapon. The only one that comes into my room at night, is the young girl of the house, it’s as though my senses pick her up and there is peace there. She knows …. when I have had a nightmare she comes into the room, jumps on my bed and reads to me soothing verses that give me hope and peace.

I was asked by my younger sister once, “why are people so angry with the foreigners that are here protecting us, but none of our brothers from other countries protect us?”. I couldn’t answer the question. Why as Muslims don’t we sort ourselves out? Why do we allow terrorists to hijack Islam?

It is easy to live in a peaceful country and be critics, BUT much harder to be where you have no food, no running water, bombs going off day and night. Yes, you give Dua for the people in these countries. Will you stand up against the bad element in your country that blacken what Islam is about?

I lived because I have a goal and a dream to live a better life style. My determination to live and get my family to safety was important.

When your father is killed in front of you by terrorists, your brother is blown up in the markets. You understand that it’s up to this 16 year old girl to lead the family to safety.



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