Are Men The Enemy?


I consider myself a feminist, but as I have explained to many women, not all ‘feminists’ are the man hating, hairy legged, bra burning activists who wear pink beanies in the shape of nipples. It comes down to your version of feminism. When you say that word out loud, for many people it invokes cringe worthy expressions and reeks of a man hating vibe. I have seen women degrade men and rebuke their efforts to value women, simply because they are men. To these women, to stand for equality means making men obsolete.

For me … men are not the enemy!

As a woman, I have had moments in my life where men have treated me like dirt in a power-hungry rage. I have had unspeakable things done to my body. My spirit has been broken, my heart shattered and I lost myself-respect.

For me … men are not the enemy!

I have witnessed the aftermath of beaten bodies; women so helpless that they would prefer to kill themselves just to have a moment of peace in their world. I have seen human remains kicked and walked over like they are rubble and debris in the dirt. I have seen people strung up, hung from trees, like an upturned hung beast after slaughter. These are horrid things that one person has inflicted onto another when they’ve been fighting for a cause, or for their lives.

For me … men are not the enemy!

I admire people who marry, but I also love being single. I married young and it was a challenge. Looking back, there are many things that happened in my marriage that now I would handle differently, but the past cannot be changed. So, I move forward holding onto lessons learnt. I think for me to be in that position again, God will need to bring along an incredibly strong man to love me and walk beside me. I do not see marriage as a burden, it is a partnership and a blessing.

For me … men are not the enemy!

In life, terrible things happen to people. What one person, irrespective of gender, does to another can be incredibly horrific or an absolute marvel. I think everyone is capable of evil acts, not just ‘bad’ people. The difference is the choice we make and whether we choose to act or react on our feelings, impulses or urges. Sometimes violence and terrible circumstances are unavoidable, but it is how you collect yourself, learn from these instances and move forward that counts.

For me … men are not the enemy!

I have always been taught the character of a man is the key to understanding how he will treat you. If you see a man’s character in action, you will have a better idea of who he is as a man.

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” – Malcolm S. Forbes.

A friend taught me to watch how a man treats his mother, sisters and aunties, as that will show you how he treats women in his life. Nothing is ever 100% foolproof, but putting in the time and watching their actions will show you who that man really is, especially when he is angry or under pressure.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

My father was the first man I ever loved and his corny jokes still make me laugh. He taught me the values of remaining approachable and teachable, that prayer is a necessity and to seek wisdom from others. He taught me to consider all aspects of a situation and to choose my battles wisely. He is quiet and reserved; only speaking when he has something to say. He considers his words carefully and will sit back watching a situation rather than diving in head first callously. These are the men I admire.

I think men and women go hand in hand. Men and women have different aspects that complement each other; one without the other in life leaves a massive, gaping hole. Understanding, acknowledging and appreciating those differences, renders them insignificant. There is a reason we were created one from the other.

Despite loving my independence, I have found that I want strong men in my life. I purposefully seek them out. I appreciate learning from men with wisdom, experience and perspective. Many are friends, teachers, colleagues and some now my mentors. The more I learn from our experiences, both good and bad, the more I am driven towards success.

For me … men are not the enemy! In fact, they are my ally, and yours too.



3 thoughts on “Are Men The Enemy?

  1. Sarah

    Brilliant article and a topic that needs to be addressed.
    I found myself nodding right throughout.
    Bring back the sisterhood and put a stop to demonising men!

    Liked by 1 person

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